but when will we ever have time to surf our beloved Web?

here we went and teased about not having read any books since back in the mid-nineties, and thanks to Goodreads we are Informed by Our Feed that in fact, we are reading ten, as in presently. we've been blissfully unaware of how awash we are in books. what a hoot, confronted with our own book-readin'-denying selves.

We are a Reader, after all!

(And we'll be damned if we didn't read that whole Dental Dictionary, thank you very much, ya'll are just haters!) We're not sure if the site will makes us read more, or just want to read more. that remains to be seen. every time we think we've listed every darn book we ever read, another twenty pop into our head. they should get senior citizens on their site, a la Brain Age or Wii, get those brain cells firing up again.

but...books are so...so...heavy. ...and that new-fangled world wide web sure is so light and frothy and oh so mighty tempting...

have to see how this one plays out.

(p.s. love you, Momma! we love this picture of you oh so very. and no you can't have it back!)

passiveaggressivenotes.com

Check this out. Giggle your cares away. (thanks, Carol!)

a little too close for comfort (aka, damn I miss that denim shirt!)

Tuesday chuckles via Silver Mac. (thanks, b-dog!)

cool

been digging last.fm of late.

where's your knight in shining armor now, girlfriend?

Nail on the head. It has been a disillusioning week for Obama fans on the left. And yet I sense the media spin of Hillary always in the mainstream media coverage, the secret sauce.

spam haiku is addictive, yo

what can i say? it has been such a fun distraction, this little spam haiku addiction. drunken late night get-rich quick schemes get bandied about by us so often in downtown champaign. all our joking aside, monetizing content & such, at its root was a little creative spark of something new, or new enough. spam attacking us first in the dozens, then hundreds of emails a day, worming into the workday & leisure time alike. even if filtered away, the damn emails still have to be glanced over one at a time, as so often important non-spam emails creep in the spam box too.

what to do? the spams themselves gave us our answer: trying to evade the filtering anti-spam software deployed against them, the spam marketers had begun filling emails with gibberish text, almost-phrases randomly deployed to evade, and penetrate. we certainly felt penetrated. and in turn, we went all meat beat on their asses, giving birth. we would take their words and use them to make money off the bastards. Thanks, AdSense!

process? yes, these are the spam marketer's words from their emails, cherry-picked and assembled mosaic/collage style by the spam haiku collective. they did not always come from a single spam mail, but usually from a given day's bursting spam mail box, collected, selected, digested, sorted, spewed, fiddled-with, and blogged all over your ass. enjoy, and join us.

it's alive, it's alive!

we're delighted to announce and cross-promote the latest tentacle of the mother squid, live as of today. enjoy.

bush would like the platter special, please.

terrifying.

tehran, here we come? the iranian people will throw rose petals at our feet and welcome us as liberators, isn't that how it goes?

sick sick world. and so nice that this is all spelled out in the british papers (look, brits: here's your bloody troops lined up along the border by all these iranian sites that will be blowing up soon) but nary a peep of it here. sigh.

land of hand (detail)

if this worked, then blogger truly is kicking iWeb's ass.

reach out, reach out and touch someone

well, that didn't take long. ours should arrive on Monday. (please. hundred dollars off for a refurb? sign my broke ass up.)

caved on iWeb already too...course, we bought that for the .mac iPhone integration. sweet! and you know they've got some twitteresque iWeb/iPhoto/iPhone mashup in the wings, where you can autopost to a photoblog and tap tap tap your blog text from wherever you, however you be...we live in exciting times.

we'll take google alternatives for three hundred, alex

now you know we're loyal google junkies. hell, we even dumped iWeb right before a shiny update in favor of beloved Blogger. But dear Slate has a fabulous overview of some nifty alternatives out there. We're dying to torment a ChaCha guide. But we fear Bezos is coming for us in our sleep, nearly as much as we used to fear Nicole Kidman.

we'll take the entire t-shirt collection

hilarious.

everybody's 100% accurate once in a while

can we take your order?
giggle. us, we like to think we're more of an Espresso Royale, Cappuccino Bomb kinda gal. but deep in our heart we're just a Venti Caramel Latté kinda poseur boy who'd flip for 'buck any old day.

we know it is So, because the Oracle said so. sigh.

zoom-zoom-zoom, gotta motor, motorheads. back to our Diet Pepsi Max...shazam! that ginseng makes our nipples hurt.

tastes like chicken

Namibia, you creative country! What will you think of next?

hee haw, hee haw

We know what Someone is getting this Christmas.

we really Do have a migraine today...

...but this helped ease it for a little bitty bit. enjoy.

Lights Out! poetry

we digs, we digs. Google Docs lets you post to your Blogger page, (which is a great notion. and Gets Us All Excited about the prospects of getting some kind of blog-like discipline into our otherwise dormant writing work habits) but thanks to the software having only bare-bones export options, and if you are a contrary sort like us who prefers one's blog's background be spat out in black (like ours is), voila! your text is hidden in the black. i'm sure it's easily overcome. but I was naturally smitten with the charming bug.

so somewhere below in the black, a spoooky poem is hiding. watch out! enjoy, children. why, it's hide & seek Lights Out! poetry.

ahem. as for Lights Out! ...when we were young, and played often with evil little baptist creek children, Lights Out! was a favorite game. Everyone spreads out in a closed-up room, the lights are turned off, and you creep about trying to find your friends and beat the shit out of them meanwhile trying to avoid getting caught & beaten yourself. ah, good times. we used to play an outdoor variation too, called Killer. Basically it was more of Lights Out! but set outdoors in the black night, Hide and Seek but with a Friday the 13th serial killer vibe. and they would usually hunt you down with some kind of large weapon. those baptist chicks were craaaazy motherfuckers.

which come to think of it has nothing to do with this poem.

...or it Does and i've just had some kind of breakthrough moment here. tearing up here.

hold me.

here's a gem from raw berry, that old whore. always good for a few laughs. enjoy! Lights Out!

feeling helen keller yes we’re only pack

of thumbs

fumbling towards the word. experience

musts be

helpful in these matters we guess. maybe blind

is sight without the pictures & the sound

turned down. boys

are like a spigot, water on the palm. we

knows the texture, but aching for a name,

mate. mute

mug shots, waiting in the dark

for touch to teach us how to speak in

tongues a

language, opening a door.

the Fall comedy lineup on TYBC©...

All right folks, we claimed these names First. You hear? If we turn on the frigging CW and see these this Fall, there will be some ass kicked.

Sublet
revolving cast (Love, American Style-style), a weekly MTV-esque soapsy serial anthology, each week featuring two hot twentysomethings running an ad for a sublet, thereupon finding their prospective renter miraculously falling into bed with either or both of their respective landlords, with the whole steamy mess neatly wrapped up by 22 minutes later with a denouement either in favor (happy threesome settles in) or with the search continuing (applicant shown the door, or a shallow grave in the basement). regardless of the ending, the next week, it's a whole new couple, whole new sublet, whole new set of jiggly & ripped young shirtless things looking for that special Sublet.

The Intricates
and yes, we know "Intricates" is misspelled. our Honeypie was trying to slur out "Intricacies" in a drunken monologue, when out spilled "the Intricates" instead. We knew at once it was a Fall lineup title for the network. It's a great title. Evokes the Pixar Incredibles, yet the name just has an elusive seedier pedigree. It just feels trailer to us. And no, we have no idea what the show's about. Isn't that what writing staff is for? Big picture, people.

Better Than Cramps
Another great show name for which we cannot recall much else. But now it sounds to us like a choice reality show slant: our Hackers jack into various situations (workers with webcams, phone calls to people we can film indiscreetly) dangling exciting cash prizes for office workers who can come up with the best on-the-fly excuse to flee work without undue managerial scrutiny. "Cramps" being, of course, a failsafe way to get the Boss to hustle you out of their office and home with a Get Out of Work Free pass, no questions asked. But what's Better Than Cramps? Tune in to find out.

©2007, TYBC (Ted Young Broadcasting Company),
a Seat of Our Pants Press production

we likes, we likes

ooooooo....pretty sparkles for our master.

we seem to be developing an unhealthy Theme here

funny, and definitely NSFW. enjoy.

something we all can Get Behind

Way to go, Illinois! You put me in a happy state.

toy box, indeed

it's kind of hard to make this shit up. coming to your local Wal-Mart, natch. be sure and let the good folks at Wally World know what you think on August 18!

...and from the Dashboard

OK, also very fun. We can post to Blogger from the OS X Dashboard, albeit without the ability to add photos. Pity that Dashboard's such a sluggish piece of junk in general!

what a wonderful wired world

So we can email and post to Blogger, albeit it appears that this it saves it to drafts instead of directly posting it. always something, eh? That's an improvement over iWeb and Google Pages to be sure.
We really just wish Apple and Google would get married and be done with it.
Really, fellas, you'd be such a good fit.
And then we wouldn't have to have blogs & pages & iWebs & HomePage sites scattered to the winds.
Yeah, we'd probably still do that, but still.

oh Lord, another one?

Call us crazy for Cocoa Puffs, but we just can't help ourselves. Another sandbox, another blog...focus, focus!

For now here's links to home base, the old blog, the newish FrankenBlog grafted together over at Google Pages. Focus, focus. Where will the ball eventually come to rest? Place your bets, place your bets.